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Post by tboneator64 on Dec 5, 2015 1:46:19 GMT -5
The Making Of Little Miss Pinkerton (1943)- However bad many of the MGM 'Our Gang' Comedies (?) were, this ill advised, conceived and executed Feature Length Documentary about the behind the scenes shooting of "Little Miss Pinkerton" was what really sank the series! For those who thought the short was bad enough, well.... - Watch in bemused bewilderment, as the extensive behind the scenes footage reveals why Janet was NOT known as "One Take Burston!" - Apart from Janet Burston flubbing take after take, watch as the expressions on the other 'Our Gang' cast members faces become increasingly pained and frustrated. This incident has often been cited as containing the earliest documented evidence of Bobby Blake's erratic temperament, though Froggy was none too pleased, either! Buckwheat mostly did a lot of head shaking, though it's been rumored that closer scrutiny in lip reading reveals his whisperings as "Dammit Janet!" - Interestingly, "The Making Of Little Miss Pinkerton" ends with the Film simply running out, ala "Monty Python & The Holy Grail"! Finally, a print of this Film is reported to be located at.... CHEERS!
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Post by RJH on Dec 21, 2015 22:54:24 GMT -5
Unremarkable (1933) - Fed up with all the attention Spanky was getting at the expense of all of the other Rascals, the other Rascals convinced the crew to film them instead of just Spanky and the babies in "Forgotten Babies." The natural break point was when Dickie announced they had to go swimming in the raw that day because it would be too cold the next week. Thus the gang, minus Spanky and Dorothy, who had a habit of disappearing, went to the slow-moving Cherry Creek and went swimming.
[At this point Hal Roach interrupted: "Please don't tell me you're going to do something as lame as having someone steal their clothes?" "No, of course not. Excuse me a minute." After a quick rewrite,]
A couple miles upstream a large dam bursts, sending a flash flood the gang's way. Before they realize what's going on, they are swept away. They are swept downstream ten miles before going over a waterfall and landing in a lake. They struggle to the shore, and attempt to make skirts out of thin tree branches, leaves and long grass. Their efforts aren't terribly successful.
Since the non-Spanky gang members are treated equally, the following lines can be randomly distributed among Dickie, Stymie, Tommy, Wheezer, and Uh-Huh.
"What do we do now? "We can't go home like this." "I don't want to go home. Then we'll have to take care of our little brothers and sisters." "We can stay right here and camp. We can hunt and fish for food." "And we can play pirates and Cowboys and Indians." "Uh-huh."
They follow the suggestions. The director examines every frame of film to make sure nothing inappropriate makes it into the final cut.
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[Roach decided it was better to use the scene with Spanky and the babies instead, so the above scene never made it to the theaters.]
Bare Facts (1936) - Rejected immediately upon seeing the title.
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Post by tboneator64 on Dec 22, 2015 0:45:01 GMT -5
Christmas Hooky? (1938) -
Having realized there had never been a Christmas themed 'Our Gang' short, Hal Roach decided on one as a final chapter to the Gang's "Hooky" Trilogy. This was to be their special annual two reeler!
With an appropriate level of stupidity on the part of Spanky & Alfalfa having been established in CANNED FISHING earlier in he year, Mr. Roach didn't think it much of a stretch that in wanting to play hooky at Christmas, the boys' somehow manage to forget that there is no school on Christmas (?) as the yuletide short's main premise!
Their parents and friends mercilessly play along, none of whom bother to correct Alfalfa and Spanky about their being no such thing as Christmas Hooky, even after their elaborate plans to fake having to assist a Department Store Santa in delivering presents to the needy on Christmas Day, in order to get out of attending school, are secretly discovered!
Sound pretty lame? Luckily, the non filming of this garbage was one of the few pluses in the 'Our Gang' series being sold to MGM, who wouldn't touch this ill conceived idea with a 39½ foot pole; one of the few really bad ones Hal Roach ever had!
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Post by mtw12055 on Dec 23, 2015 18:04:15 GMT -5
True Treasure (1943) - In this remake of "Mama's Little Pirate," the Gang learns of a treasure hidden in a nearby cave. But the kids get into an argument about how their findings will be split up.
They break up into two groups - Buckwheat & Mickey and Froggy & Janet. Happy stays behind to guard the entrance to the cave. Why? I don't really know, but evidently the writers did this as a way to keep him out of the script, since they had no clue what to do with the character.
The kids fantasize about what they plan on doing with the treasure when they find it. The same fantasy sequences from "Unexpected Riches" are re-used, but this time Janet also gets one. Apparently, she wants to produce and star in a broadway musical based on T.S. Eilot's "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats." I will admit that Froggy's reaction to all of this is pretty hysterical!
Happy doesn't have a fantasy sequence because, again, the writers knew nothing about his character.
The two teams eventually meet up and are confronted by a giant (Mike Mazurki). The kids are initially afraid of the giant, but he turns out to be a 'right' guy. The giant tells the kids that there is no treasure. He then gives them a half-hearted speech about how friendship is a true treasure.
The kids happily leave the cave (but not before the giant tells them to go buy war bonds), knowing that they've learned a valuable lesson. Back at home, the Rascals yack about how 'swell' it is to have friends. Happy has vanished from the film by this point. Evidently, the writers forgot about him.
Froggy makes a surprisingly meaningful point by quoting Eurpides: "One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives." But the rest of the Gang is so accustomed to hearing Froggy end one of their 'lessons' on a joke that they all just laugh!
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Post by RJH on Jan 19, 2016 23:44:22 GMT -5
Eleven Years Old (1928) - At a request of Jackie, A remake of "Ten Years Old" until the scene where Joe and Jackie square off to fight. Instead of calling a truce, Jackie hits Joe in the face with a right hook. Stunned, Joe asks, "What did you do that for?" "I'm sick and tired of you stealing what should be my limelight!" "What?" Joe swings back, but Jackie is ready and is barely hit. Jackie uses his greater speed and reach to hit Joe again. Jackie continues, "I was a big star before you came along. In "Fire Fighters" and "Young Sherlocks" it was just me and Ernie. Then Mickey and Farina and Mary came along, and it was still okay, but then you had to come and my roles shrank big time." "What are you talking about?" "You come along in "Boys to Board" and right away you're a big hit as the new kid. In "Stage Fright" you're the big king and I'm just a guard. In "Big Business" you get to be the head barber. In "It's a Bear" you're the big star because you don't have the brains to wear suspenders like I do." "Having my pants fall down all the time wasn't my idea." "That doesn't matter. Then you get to drive the trains in "The Sun Down Limited." And fly on the plane in "The Mysterious Mystery!" "You were a star in that." "Really? They wouldn't even let me keep my own name when I had a bigger than usual role. Then in "Dog Days" it's your dog that gets all the action. In "The Love Bug" it's you, Mickey and Farina who get the good parts to improve your appearances. In "Baby Clothes" you're the big baby." "I wouldn't have minded trading parts with you in that one." "Then in "Uncle Tom's Uncle" you're Uncle Tom and I'm barely in the play. In "The Fourth Alarm!" you're the chief despite your problems with your pants." "Enough with the pants. At least you got to drive one of the fire engines." "Big deal. Then in "Telling Whoppers" it's you and Farina battling the bully. How come it's never me and Farina?" "You finally got to be a leader in "Tired Businessmen"." "But you were the main star in that, the new kid again. I was never the new kid. Again in "Baby Brother," it's all about you. And in "The Glorious Fourth," it's all you and Farina again." "I looked like a jerk in that one." "And again in "Playin' Hookey." You have to be the one with the talented dog. Also in "Dog Heaven". And in "Election Day," you get to run for office and I'm just an assistant." "That hasn't happened yet." "I saw the script. And there'll be another one about your loose tooth. Let me help you with that." Throughout the argument Jackie has been landing blows, and now knocks a couple teeth loose. When blood is splattered, it usually lands on Farina. Jackie finishes, "I took good care of myself, eating right and exercising. But everyone likes you better, you who just eat candy and soda all the time. So you got to the big star I should have been, and instead a leading critic describes my work in dozens of these episodes as "mostly does ensemble acting in this film"."
Upon viewing the completed version of this film the production crew was in shock. They quietly decided that it should be destroyed and that it was time for Jackie to leave the series, to be replaced by another Jackie with a six-letter last name starting with "CO."
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Post by mtw12055 on Feb 27, 2016 23:47:11 GMT -5
The Haunted Castle (a.k.a. "The Unimaginative Title") (1982) - An episode of the animated RascLs series, clearly meant to rip off pay tribute to Scooby-Doo. The kids are driving around in their wagon, on their way to a dance, or concert, or something.
Alfalfa: Like, I can't wait until we get there so I can get my hands on the buffet table! Pete: Reah, Ruffet!
Suddenly, a wagon wheel breaks off. It's apparently too dark to fix the wagon, so the kids decide to spend the night in a spooky old hotel nearby.
Alfalfa:Uh uh! I'm not going in. Like, they're might be ghosts and such inside. Pete: Reah, Rhosts! Buckwheat: Would you go in for a Petey Snack?
Alfie and Pete go for the bribery. Once inside, the kids meet Old Man Manfred, the hotel owner. He informs the kids that weird things going on at the hotel have caused all of the guests to leave. Everyone, that is, except for Barretta TV star Robert Blake.
Blah, blah, blah, weird things happen, Manfred disappears, the kids try to solve the mystery of his disappearance, you get the idea.
Spanky: Lets split up, gang. Darla and Buckwheat, you come with me. I need the pretty girl and the smart kid with me. Alfalfa, you can take Pete, Porky, and Robert Blake with you. Alfalfa: But, like, thee might be ghosts... Darla: Would you risk your life for another Petey Snack?
Anyway, they split up. The usual Scooby hijinks ensue. Spanky sets up a trap to catch the bad guy, Darla gets kidnapped, Buckwheat loses his wig, Alfalfa and Pete eat and scream, Porky does a "lemme at him!" Shtick (and for some reason addresses Pete as "Uncle Petey"), and Robert Blake calls his agent to get him out of this dumb show.
Eventually, the bad guy is revealed to be Old Man Manfred, who drove customers away because plot.
Easily one of the laziest episodes ever written. No wonder this show didn't last. And adult Robert Blake meeting the young Rascals is beyond weird.
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Post by tboneator64 on Mar 1, 2016 13:14:49 GMT -5
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN JR, THE SEQUEL: NO LONGER SO JUNIOR (1947) -
In this dreary post war 'Our Gang' entry, Mickey rereads his family's "Poor Richard" book. Just like in the first film, the gang members complain about having to continue to do without, even though the war has been over for two years. While Mickey attempted to remind the gang about the lessons they learned during the war, they refused to listen to any of it this time around, with Big Shot, Buckwheat, Froggy (Happy died in a tragic accident involving a slinky, which was new at the time!) and Janet all calling b.s. on the antiquated Benjamin Franklin morals! Apparently, Mickey was the only one among the gang that hadn't been enlightened to some of ol' Benny's "proclivities" that the School History Text Books tend to ignore!
Now having been "enlightened", Mickey joins the rest of the gang in complaining about his lot for much of the remaining six and a half minutes of this, the final 'Our Gang' entry.
Then, the film ends with the gang paying a visit to the Greenpoint Public Library in an attempt to find literature detailing Benjamin Franklin's proclivities! Froggy cracks one last joke, a tasteless one (In hindsight!) about being struck by lightening while riding on a Bicycle's Handlebars! As usual, the entire gang laughs, even as Froggy's expression inexplicably changes to one of vague dread!
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Post by mtw12055 on Mar 2, 2016 21:01:20 GMT -5
The Life and Times of Mickey Gubitosi (1941) - Mickey's crying because his parents got into a fight over hash, and for some reason, he thinks he's going to be adopted by a Chinese family. The Gang convinces Mickey to think of all of the good times he had with his parents. Eight minutes of this ten minute short is a montage of All-American white bread activities that the Gubitosi's did together - fishing, playing cards, reading Benjamin Franklin together before bed, and listening to an incredibly unfunny radio comedian, among other things. As if out of desperation to wrap the story up, Mickey parents agree to stop fighting for their son's sake, and everyone lives happily ever after. At least until Froggy's parents begin fighting. "Well, boys, here we go again," Froggy says, just before the end title appears.
Horse Play (1943) - Froggy is heartbroken after Janet suddenly dies. But his gloom turns to glad when the Gang learns that Janet has been reincarnated as a horse. The kids decide to become famous by passing Janet off as "The World's Only Singing Horse." All's well and good until Janet actually opens her mouth during her debut performance at Carnegie Hall. Janet begins to cry as the audience throws vegetables at her. We fade in to a shot of human Janet talking in her sleep. Turns out it was all a dream. That is until Janet wakes up and finds that the rest of the Gang have are all horses. Remade with the Three Stooges as "Hoofs and Goofs."
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Post by tboneator64 on Mar 7, 2016 10:46:07 GMT -5
.... IN THE NAME OF LIBERTY (1944) - In this wartime entry featuring Froggy, Janet, Mickey and Buckwheat, Janet complains to the gang about her Friday night stay over at the Schmidt's getting cancelled at the last minute due to something called 'ternment! Froggy just starts to say something about Bowling when Mickey pipes up, reminding the gang that 'ternment almost happened to their Chinese neighbors the Wongs, who Uncle Sam at first mistook for Japs! He also recounts how this nearly happened to some of his Italian relatives, but they escaped it by mispronouncing "Rigolini".
As the gang continue to commiserate over friends and family members who have been interred, a narrative voice over commences, describing the internment process, and how it actually promotes safety for the "aliens" and "good" Americans. Our northern Canadian neighbors have also found internment to be of benefit to all in these dangerous times, according to the disembodied voice!
As the narration closes with the "We do this with heavy hearts, in the name of liberty!" line, the viewers see Mickey and his parents, who apparently didn't do a satisfactory job in mispronouncing "Rigolini" this time around, getting hauled away for 'ternment as this public service one reeler concludes!
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Post by mtw12055 on Apr 26, 2016 0:56:54 GMT -5
Back to the '20s (1938) Waldo builds a time machine that sends himself and the Gang to the year 1922, when Greenpoint was a fairly new town. Unfortunately for the kids (and the audience), they get stuck in the pilot Our Gang short.
Scientists hadn't discovered sound yet, so nobody can talk. Instead, people communicated with each other with text that would magically appear on command. On the plus side, this means we don't have to listen to Alfalfa sing, and we can actually understand what Buckwheat and Porky are saying without Spanky's translations. Also, everyone wears white pancake makeup and eyeliner, for some reason.
Anyhow, while Waldo tinkers with the time machine, the late 30s Gang meets the original Gang - Sunshine Sammy, Jackie, Mickey, Mary Jane, Mortimer Melrose, Jimmy, Buck Black, and a bunch of nameless, personality-less kids.
The '20s Gang immediately welcomes Butch and Woim into their circle and shun Spanky and co. Why? Because Butch and Woim can fight. B & W wind up betraying the '20s Gang by having them take blame for breaking a window. The '20s Gang are hauled off to Reform School.
Waldo fixes the time machine, and he and the '30s Gang return to their own time. Enter the '20s Gang, who have now grown up and well-behaved. They decided to make some changes to Greenpoint by pushing ideas like good citizenship to the townsfolk. Things were never the same after that.
There was a planned sequel in which Butch and Woim try to rectify things, but MGM shut down the idea, as they felt it would mess would the series' continuity (?).
The Gang Goes Home (1944) - The real series finale. The kids stow away onto a train to join a USO show tour in order to help treat the troops to their own brand of entertainment. While performing a corny Swing number, a bomb drops onto the Army training camp the Gang is staying at, killing everyone.
Cut to some overly-serious guy who goes into a lengthy speech about how we should be on the watch for bombs. Audiences were apparently pretty aware of the advice already, as they avoided seeing this short.
The Little Rascals 2 (1996) - A sequel to the 1994 Rascals flick in which the kids go through puberty. Ironically, Froggy voice goes up a few octaves. Features a cameo by former Little Rascal "Stinky," who can be spotted during the school dance scene, as well as a cameo by the ghost of Spanky McFarland, who can be spotted doing an Oliver Hardy take during the haunted house scene.
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Post by tboneator64 on Apr 26, 2016 12:57:30 GMT -5
The Gang Goes Home (1944) - The real series finale. The kids stow away onto a train to join a USO show tour in order to help treat the troops to their own brand of entertainment. While performing a corny Swing number, a bomb drops onto the Army training camp the Gang is staying at, killing everyone. Cut to some overly-serious guy who goes into a lengthy speech about how we should be on the watch for bombs. Audiences were apparently pretty aware of the advice already, as they avoided seeing this short. This one really had me in stitches! The Gang went home, alright! For me, the second paragraph is the real gem! Chalk up one for "The Worst Episodes Never Made" Hall Of Fame! CHEERS!
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Post by tboneator64 on Apr 26, 2016 13:23:51 GMT -5
....IN THE NAME OF LIBERTY 2 (1952) - An ill advised sequel, this previously unreleased 'Our Gang' short "humorously" depicts life in a 'ternment camp. Defying reality, ALL of the gang members (Even the white, non Germanic/Italian/or Jewish Janet, who presumably must have been interred for crying too much!) are interred in the same camp!
The short's basic plot centers around the gang's hijinks, that are caused by living in such tight quarters. They're in fact, so tight that their parents are in no hurry to make them come inside after dark! The film's comedic highlight is Janet and Mickey's moonlit nocturnal crying alongside half starved coyotes, who eventually devour one of them--I won't reveal which one, as that would be a spoiler!
Needless to say, this lame short's being way off topic when it was released at the height of the Korean conflict, was the least of its problems!
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Post by mtw12055 on Jun 8, 2016 12:47:06 GMT -5
Gah! My Ears! (1938) - One of the last Roach comedies, and a clear sign that the writers were already struggling to come up with quality material. Alfalfa decides to become a singing teacher in order to help other kids be as awesome as him. Alfie manages to turn all of the neighborhood kids into off-key singing bug-eyed weirdos, complete with questionable fashion choices and silly cowlicks. An Alfalfa Army is formed, slowly taking over the city, which is soon renamed Alflantis. However, the Alfalfas are in danger when the Butchston Army unleashes an attack. A mighty singing battle ensues, until everyone gets distracted by the citizens of Darlatown. The Darlas' ego and fickleness crushes the other two Armies, leaving them both incredibly depressed. Predictably, it all turns out to be a bad dream Alfalfa had after eating one of his weird sandwiches. How original.
Bizarro World (1942) - Froggy's latest chemistry experiment causes Greenpoint to be sucked into a black hole and sent to an alternate universe in which the citizens are really, really mean. How unfortunate. Bizarro Janet is a successful singer and full-on prima donna, shunning everyone, including her 'normal' self. Bizarro Spanky is a wimpy little guy who takes orders from Bizarro Mickey. Bizarro Buckwheat is an upperclass gentleman with a British accent to boot. And Bizarro Froggy? He never talks. He's also a Nazi.
Okay, I'm kind of running low on creative juice right now. Just kind of throwing random ideas out there!
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Post by RJH on Jun 15, 2016 23:27:03 GMT -5
Due to the underwhelming response from my last writing effort and bereft of ideas, my writing career came to an abrupt halt. Unfortunately, a question in the "Wrong Answer" thread inspired me. We now present the truly horrible:
Our Dark Shadowy Gang (or Spook-Spoofing Spoofed) (1928)
Farina's Mumbo-Jumbo charm did indeed have a power, but not one that he was aware of. In this alternate script, Harry does apparently die. Farina wheels him to the cemetery and digs the grave. Jay provides a coffin, and Farina puts Harry in it. But before Farina closes the lid, the total eclipse begins. Harry wakes up, seizes Farina by the throat, opens his mouth to reveal fangs, and sinks his teeth into Farina's neck. Farina is turned into a mindless creature who must do as Harry tells him. Harry tells him to get a lot of fresh blood. The rest of the gang is trying to scare Farina, so they are close by. First, Farina lures Joe around a tombstone where Harry is hiding. Harry bites Joe's neck before Joe has a chance to react. Farina disposes of Joe's body by rolling it into the freshly dug grave. Bobby and Wheezer soon meet the same fate. Jackie sees the end of this and runs away, but his pants get caught on a branch, allowing Harry to catch up. Jackie lands one punch, but it has very little effect, and Harry sinks his teeth into Jackie's neck, and Farina has another body to dispose of. Jean screams to Jay that something horrible is happening, and they retreat to the mausoleum where the empty coffin is. When Harry enters, Jay performs an exorcism, and Harry pretends that it works and falls into the coffin. However, Farina locks them in, and a couple minutes later he has two more bodies to dispose of. Harry explains that when the eclipse is over he must remain in the coffin until sunset, and Farina has to guard him until that time. When the eclipse is over, Farina goes outside and shovels dirt onto the six bodies in the grave he dug. He puts a "Closed for repairs" sign on the mausoleum and goes home with a blank look on his face.
When the sun sets, we see hands reaching up and climbing out of the grave. The mausoleum door creaks open. At Farina's house, we see him in bed stirring uneasily. He gets up and goes to Mango's room, where his sister is sleeping. The last shot is of him opening his mouth wide revealing a nice set of fangs that weren't there before sundown.
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The writers hoped this could become the basis of a long running serial, but Hal Roach rejected the episode entirely and muttered, "If this is the kind of script my writers come up with, we will never do a vampire episode."
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Post by tboneator64 on Jun 17, 2016 0:54:22 GMT -5
Petey's Gang (1929)
In this late era silent (It was almost made as the first Roach Talkie, but the sound was deemed a bit too "Ruff"!) short, the Dippy Doo-Dads like story-line is centered around Pete The Pup and his canine friends, with the gang members only making nominal 5 second appearances this time around!
Most of this short's 3 reel running length (This poc gets 3 reels? Really??) consists of the dogs chasing down cars, cats, birds, fire trucks, and postmen!
Hey, I didn't say it was any good!
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